The One With The "R" Word
Par Serge, mercredi 26 juillet 2006 { Radotages } | 11 commentaires | aucun trackback
When the idea of this story came to my mind, this morning, I couldn't think of any other title than this one. And in english. Don't know why. So, first and foremost, I hope that my non english speaking audience here won't be too upset. To all the others, please, keep on reading. Won't be long, anyway. I mean, not TOO long.
Last evening, The Siren called me. She was spending a few days at XXX at a friend's house, and using some spare time to find a new appartment. Long story short, she needed me to send either a fax or a mail. The conversation and the tone of it were pleasant and warm.
"So what?" might ask the clever reader. Aren't you guys supposed to be together anyway ? Alas, my dear friend, you might have noticed this "thing" we have is somewhere in a sort of twilight zone, I might say. Not together, officially. Not anymore, at least. But it's a mutually exclusive "thing".
I must admit that there's also something else. Something I might not have told here already. Last time I called her, actually, she was a bit upset. And I clearly felt that I was sort of "persona non grata". So I didn't insist, and waited for her to eventually call me back. And that she did the very next day, almost (the "almost" is crucial here) apologizing for being so cold. Told me that she had just arrived from a 5 hours road trip in a car with her brother, her sister in law, and her two nephews. And that she was tired.
Thing is, that between those two calls, I couldn't help but start thinking that, maybe, somehow, this "thing" was about to come or already had come to an end. And that saddened me. A lot. So much in fact, that I spend all my week-end at home, almost doing nothing but feeling blue. Bugger. I knew that this situation would come eventually. Just didn't think it would be so soon. I even didn't answer to two of her calls during that week-end. Didn't feel like talking to her. Or to anyone, for that matter.
And then, last night's call. I can't say I was too happy when the caller ID gave her up. And it was with a mix of, I don't know, maybe fear, maybe excitement, perhaps a bit of bad temper, anyway, that I finally answered.
After a few minutes, she told me she was driving back to XXX and that she would call me back from there to dictate me a mail to send to a real estate agent for an appartment she had seen today, interesting, not far from her job, not expensive, the perfect place, to sum it up a bit.
I didn't know when she would call back. And anyway, it was much to hot to sleep, so I started watching a bit of television. "Rome", actually. The irony here being that The Siren is a History Teacher... Anyway, back to the story.
She eventually called back. It was 11:30 pm. I wrote and sent the mail she wanted to send, I even said "hi" to her sister in law (I knew her from the time when we were a couple a few years ago. The strange thing is that she seemed to know about us, already... Which is disturbing, in a way. Seems it gives more "credit" to our "thing" since more and more people are aware that there's something going on between the two of us...), and she finally asked me for a last favor :
- at what time do you wake up tomorrow ? She asked.
- I guess around 6:30, why ?
- Would you mind calling me to wake me up at 6:30 / 6:45 ? I could set an alarm, but I'd rather hear someone waking me up in the morning...
- Of course I don't mind. Plus, you know, I just happen to love waking you up in the morning, actually. So, it's a deal.
Well, sure I didn't lie. But I prefer waking her up with kisses and so. Anyway...
Amazing how people can say the most important things when they're not totally awake, as if they were taken guards down. The next morning, while sipping a cup of expresso, I decided to call.
- Hello ? She said, with the typical "morning voice"
- Hi there... Actually I'm both sorry and happy to wake you up... I kinda missed you...
I went on with a little chat, nothing really important, just long enough to give her time to open her eyes, to emerge from "sleepy mode" to "let's find the coffee machine first" mode.
- I'll probably come to your place next thursday. My train arrives quite late and I really need to be in YYY (replace here with the name of some city next to Paris) early the next day. She said.
- Okay, I will again have the chance to wake you up early in the morning. That's cool with me. I replied.
- Oh, well, now THAT is a nice relationship, tell me about it...
A few minutes after we hung up, that last sentence ketp echoing in my head... Relationship... Did she say "relationship" ? Did I hear correctly ? What does this mean ? That she's not planning on saying good-bye once she starts living 850 km away ? That we actually have a "relationship" going on ?
I think it's the first time in the last two months that this particular word is used by either one of us...
So, how come I don't feel thrilled about this ? I could have sweared a few days ago that all I wanted was to live with her, until the end of days. But somehow I got cold feet this week-end... And I psychologically placed myself in a "story about to end" situation, trying to let go most of it so it doesn't hurt too much when that very day comes...
"And tomorrow is another day..."
Aucune équipe n'est visée dans la pub, mais la personne qui l'a posée sur YouTube l'a référencée comme une parodie de l'entraînement italien... Je suis sûr qu'en cherchant bien on trouverait un ou deux joueurs portugais :p (je plaisante, hein, pas la peine de crier à la lusitanophobie atavique dûe à mes origines ibériques).




